Dear Mary-anne. My teenage son hates his new job and his 'disgusting' workmates.

QUESTION: 

My 18-year-old has started his first job, working as a mechanic in the city, a 30-minute commute from our house.

He’s always been an anxious sort of person, and he’s not adjusting as well as I’d hoped. He doesn’t like the cold, dismal work environment, or his fellow workmates, who he says are disgusting.

The music they play is a bad radio channel, their chat is gross and not funny and they’re all old and grumpy, and he’s just found out he has to work each Saturday, from seven in the morning until 1pm.

He’s there on a temporary basis, as they’re trialling him.

Answer:

It can be a shock entering the workforce as a full-time employee for the first time. Some deriding voices might shout “toughen up”, or “be grateful you’ve got a job”, but I’m not so sure. Can’t he find a job that suits him better? Life doesn’t have to be endured.

An unhappy child, no matter their age, is wretched to live with. We all imagine when they’re babies that the actual parenting will be over by the time they’re 18, but so often, the tough years are settling in. Your son’s mental health is very important and he’ll be more vulnerable if he thinks he’s trapped forever. We all need hope and control over difficult situations. I’m not suggesting he has to leave right now, but he does need to know he has options.

When your son understands this, he can weigh up the pros of having a job, against the cons of bad chat, bad music, Saturdays swallowed up, etc. He might decide to hang in there while he looks for something more suitable. This may all resolve itself, however, if the garage owner says he’s not passed the trial. If his employers are old and grumpy, a chat with your son in advance may prevent this scenario becoming a big issue, too.

The workplace you’ve described sounds typical of the many garages that have been around as long as we’ve had cars; male-dominated, cold and boorish. But workplaces don’t have to be like that anymore. Let your son think about how he might run a garage that caters to everyone who works there. He’ll always remember this, his first job, how it all felt, and hopefully, how he got himself into a better position.

You can only listen and encourage from the sidelines, because your son needs to learn to fix things for himself. His future is in his own hands.