Dear Mary-anne. I think my wife is stealing toilet paper and biscuits from her boss.

QUESTION:

 I think my wife is stealing small stuff from her boss. She tries to hide it from me but it's obvious where it's come from, as I'm seeing work biscuits in the cupboard and toilet paper in the boot of her car.

She always brings home spare paper, postage stamps and pens. I think this is a bad example to our kids. When I asked her, she denied it, but said that even if she was, her boss can afford it, and that she does a really good job and she's not paid enough.

ANSWER:

That's the line, the excuse most workplace thieves use: She says her boss can afford it, she's really good at her job and she's not paid enough.

No employer can sustain theft — or afford it. Theft damages every person in the community because it pushes up the cost of our insurances, the overheads of the business and consequently, our products. The actual cost of workplace fraud (because that's what thieving is) is reported to be around $415 million a year (based on a 15-year study by KPMG).

Your wife says she does a really good job. Well, she should, shouldn't she? Since when have we needed to be compensated for doing a good job at work? And she says she's not paid enough. If this is true, then she should go through the correct channels to obtain a wage increase.

I understand that this is not always going to work. Some businesses may not be able to afford more on staff wages, and some employers do not pay a fair hourly rate.

However, the answer to this is not to get even by stealing. The root cause of workplace thief is not need, it's a sense of entitlement. It's an attitude of "I deserve better".

Jerald Greenberg, author of Behaviour in Organisations, says: "Stealing is usually driven by a desire to get even with companies and employers who treat them in a cold or unfair way."

You're right to be alarmed if it transpires your wife is stealing, and bear in mind, you're culpable if you aid or abet in any way. I suggest you have a really robust discussion with her, talk about your concerns, the implications of her being caught, the effect it would have on your children and the example she'd be setting to them. The longer your wife's supposed stealing goes unreported and unnoticed, the more she will increase the stakes.

The most commonly stolen things from work places are products and cold hard cash. Can you be sure your wife won't progress to stealing money as well? Overstating legitimate expenses?

Hardly anyone starts by stealing thousands and thousands of dollars, they usually start small — the toilet paper and the biscuits.