Dear Mary-anne. My father's Facebook conspiracy theories are frightening my children.

Question:

My father has worked at the same garage for 30 years.

He’s always listened to the radio as he worked and got his news from papers or the radio, until this new guy started about three years ago and signed Dad up to Facebook. Dad got hooked super quickly, like a drug and though it was annoying, it seemed harmless.

This year, he’s become more political, angry and a bit withdrawn and my mum is getting freaked out. He’s totally obsessed with this latest outbreak of Covid-19, convinced it’s the work of the Government, that they planted the virus. I’ve tried to talk to dad about conspiracy theories but, mostly, we just argue. Lately, he’s been getting in my children’s ear, scarring them with what he calls “wake-up” events and frightening them about drones watching them.

I don’t want him giving my kids his BS and I’m thinking he can’t see them for a while.

Answer:

Conspiracy theories, those baseless opinions that threaten our democracy and well-being, are certainly alive and well at the moment. I too, know people who are disappearing into conspiracy tunnels and dragging gullible people with them. These theorists are wasting valuable time, energy and resources because we’ll only beat, or manage, the virus if we work together and obey instructions.

Your father’s mental health is a big concern for you and your mother, especially as you say he’s become more agitated politically and more withdrawn. People who feed on conspiracy theories tend to be quite anxious anyway; your father may have been living with fear and anxiety simmering away for a long time. It’s as if the current situation is so big and scary, so completely out of his control, that he’s finding daft ideas to cling to, hoping to make sense of what’s happening.

There’s always a level of scaremongering around election time, as people scrabble to get their favoured party into government. Politicians may get ugly, but sane people know, with complete certainty, that the virus has not been planted for political gain or otherwise. We also know that conspiracy theorists find each other on social media and their news feed quickly becomes clogged with vitriol. These people only want to vent with people who have similar illogical, unfounded ideas, so the cycle is perpetuated.

If this situation involved a teenager, the best advice would be to get him off Facebook and get him to talk to someone. The same advice applies to your father, but it’s a lot harder to action such a plan when you’re his son. Is there any way you can get him to his GP? Can you work with your mother here? Is there anyone he would listen to apart from people fuelling his ideas?

As for your children. I always believe children understand far more than we give them credit for. I’d talk to them in an age-appropriate way about your concerns. There are no drones spying on them, and this imagined fear is why social media is so dangerous. If you’re able to involve your children with your father’s everyday life then I think it would be a good idea. Laugh at the theories without laughing at your father and, in the short term, get the kids to help distract him from his phone.