Dear Mary-anne. I'm scared my timid dog will injure my nephew

QUESTION:

I cannot get my six-year-old nephew or his mother – my sister – to take me seriously over how to behave around one of my dogs.

She is very timid and, in particular, finds small children intimidating. She hasn't shown any signs of aggression yet, but she is very young and as an experienced dog owner I know that fear can turn into aggression. My nephew simply will not keep his distance. He keeps chasing her and getting in her space. He shouts at her and tries to grab her tail. I have found him crawling on top of her as she tries to hide in a corner.

I have been very firm and stern with him and his mother, pulling no punches about the potential consequences. My sister thinks I am over-reacting as none of my previous dogs have ever had a problem with kids and she's not really a dog person. She keeps saying, "He only wants to play with her", and never tells him off when he harasses my dog. So now I'm shutting my dog outside or in another room when they're here, but the second we take our eye off him he goes looking for her. 

I have tried reasoning, threats, and angry scenes which I'm not much good at, but nothing is working. I can't imagine the heartbreak if she injures him – she may have to be put down and he could be scarred for life. What can I do?

ANSWER:

It’s hard to believe your sister is not listening to you. She’s been repeatedly warned that this dog of yours is a potential threat and yet she’s allowing her six year old to chase and annoy it. You’re right to insist on boundaries and it’s good for her boy’s sake that you’re shutting the dog away. If your nephew keeps on looking for the dog, then I agree, this can only end badly.

You have a few issues here; your sister and her lack of support in your request, your nephew and his lack of obedience and the dog. I’m no expert on dogs but it seems to me you need a trainer or behaviourist who knows about fearful dogs to help you. The vet we take our dog to, said timid dogs do indeed run the risk of biting if they’re frightened and suggested you need help to implement a desensitisation programme. The vet also wondered if you could try a period of socialisation with the dog and the child every time the boy comes around. The dog could be rewarded for small steps of improvement. However this will be a long slow process and your problem is immediate.

You say you’ve tried reasoning, threats and angry scenes with your sister but she won’t listen. It’s one thing for an adult to put themselves in danger but surely she should be protecting her son? You may need to secure a child-proof lock on the door that keeps this boy out of the room you put the dog in.

Having said this, you may not always be there to protect other children that this dog might come across. Do you really want this stress or worry? Will this dog be able to go through life not interacting with children? Your sister may be foolhardy, and her son disobedient, but I’d still think of their safety first and perhaps you may need to consider other options for this dog!