Dear Mary-anne: What is the best age to have kids?

QUESTION:

From your experience do you see any advantage to having children at a younger age? Also, do you think that the child is brought up differently with older parents? 

ANSWER:

It's a big subject you raise because 'old versus young' must be added to the mix of wealthy versus poor, well versus sick, and of course, parenting alone or with support. There are so many variables to consider. It's true that parents today are typically older when having first children and it's probably a really good thing.

When I was a first time parent, (young at twenty-four), I wondered if I'd made a big mistake and whether we should've waited to become parents. It became a moot point. The baby was there and hot on his heels was the next one… and the next. Looking back now, we were young and fit and we just got on and parented. There were many advantages in being young parents and one surprising benefit is the stage we're at now, which is being young enough to enjoy our grandchildren.

But then, a friend of mine, who had her children at least ten years later than me has been able to offer her children experiences and knowledge that I couldn't have envisaged. Her children have travelled extensively and are worldly as a consequence. And on the flip side? My friend and her husband are always tired and they look forward to the day their children are off their hands.

As to the question of whether a child is raised differently by older parents, I believe the difference is more down to expectations, circumstances, beliefs and background. If you feel ready to have children at a younger age, then go for it. It doesn't matter as long as you parent as well as you possibly can.